Words by Jane Faulkner
“What would you do if you knew you could not fail?”
I have this quote up on my wall so that I constantly remember that it’s me that imposes the limits on my life. It reminds me to look outside the box of what I create in my life and to check out if its really working for me. It also challenges me to really look at what I would do if I knew I couldn’t fail – what are my biggest dreams?
I often get to a comfortable place of normal and busy. It’s a stagnant place, though, I lose my sense of being inspired and joyful in that place.
I know there needs to be a balance between being excited all the time and just being. However, I find I lose the sense of being that brings clarity and keeps me on track. I have learnt that I can fall off my path quite easily, a little distraction here, someone needs something over there and wham, I’m lost and I have to backtrack and remember what it was that I wanted in the first place.
I lose sight or belief in my biggest dream and push it aside for another day when I have done whatever it is I’m convincing myself I need to do, to then be able to approach my dream. I think the thought of chasing my biggest dream and being the best version of myself scares the heck out of me. So I cleverly set up diversions all over the place; diversions so clever it can take me months to realise that it is in fact a diversion, another way of avoiding maybe my greatest fear – of fully owning and standing in my power, my light, my greatness.
So, last week I decided I wanted to risk everything and start to chase my biggest dream. Ah! Scary stuff! I resigned from my job, created a vision board and allowed space into my life. I’m great at filling up my space and as I said before, I then lose my clarity. I was still working so it was easy to refill the space with new work. My first hurdle was to allow myself to have space.
I had all kinds of feelings and should’s come up around not doing enough and around my lack of structure. It took willpower to allow myself to just sit and be, to allow the feelings and to notice the should’s and yet not react to them, just be with them. This took me a few weeks of filling my space, then realizing and then re-creating space and allowing myself time with me again.
Once I let go and allowed the space it was so healing, I found I was less reactive to my family and I had more time to just be with people. I had time to realize what made me tick again. I remembered what inspired me, what brought me joy and how I wanted to serve in the world.
I went and spoke with a business coach, which I had been putting off for ages and she was awesome. She asked me what my ideal day would look like. I had never thought to approach my life in that way. When we talked about my ideal day, it really changed the way I thought about my life and my work. I realized that my biggest dream was quite a simple one, it was achievable and I didn’t need to fear attaining it or fear failure if I didn’t achieve it. I also realized how close it was if I allowed it.
The power of clarity through creating space, allowing myself to dream and talking to a neutral person! I feel so much better about my life, how I want to live it and what gives my life meaning. Taking time out has been invaluable – I feel clear about how I am going to move forward and I also feel more at ease. I have created a process and structure that I can follow.
What would you do if you knew you could not fail? What is your biggest dream? I dare you to check it out!
This TED talk is fabulous. Shame is an unspoken epidemic, the secret behind many forms of broken behavior. Brené Brown, whose earlier talk on vulnerability became a viral hit, explores what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity, and vulnerability shine through every word. Take a look…
PS: I love her comparisons between men and woman (towards the end) – SO powerful!
Jane is a mum, partner, psychotherapist in private practice, yoga teacher, group facilitator at Gwinganna Health Retreat and nurse. To connect with Jane, vista her fabulous website.
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Image of this crazy guy via Pinterest