Words by psychotherapist Jane Faulkner
In my work with women certain themes stand out – it doesn’t matter who they are or what they do most women undervalue themselves, they take on too much responsibility and they give to everyone else but themselves.
Sound familiar! I can relate to all of these themes and I am always working on finding the balance and honouring myself in the process.
As women, we don’t honour how hard we work and just how much goes into an average day! We work hard at work and at home, we emotionally support many people and we are constantly tuned into what everyone around us needs. This often means that what we need does not get any airtime; it gets lost in the background somewhere.
It’s really interesting when women come to see me for equine therapy (a wonderful form of psychotherapy using horses); nearly all of the women lose themselves in the horse. This means they lose touch with their bodies and their own needs and just try to work out what they need to do so that the horse will like them and feel comfortable with them.
This is often also the case in life, we lose ourselves in our to-do lists, in making our kids happy, our partners happy, our parents happy, our colleagues, our friends etc. and we forget about ourselves. Unfortunately, this is not a sustainable way to live, we get sick, we become resentful and uninspired and we become invisible in our relationships.
So, some strategies to put yourself back on the page of your life:
In honouring and looking after ourselves we send powerful messages to our children, our partners and our community. Remember that you teach others how to treat you and if you never look after yourself, no one else will either. They will not know how to unless you can tell them.
Honouring yourself and getting in touch with who you are and what you need is living life to the full and living it on your terms. When this happens you will be fired up and juicy about life and your tank is full because you are getting your needs met. Then you have more to give others, you are more present and it comes from a place of authenticity and congruence; people will know where they stand with you and they won’t have to guess what you need or who you are anymore.
I would love to hear other strategies for how you support yourself as a woman on a daily basis?
Jane Faulkner is a Reg. Nurse with a Masters Degree in Gestalt Psychotherapy, a certificate in Initiatic Art Therapy and A Certificate in Equine Assisted Psychotherapy; she is also a yoga teacher. Jane works in private practice as well as in a local health retreat. She has worked in the Wellness industry for the past 20 years.
Jane has two upcoming retreats scheduled in May for women interested in exploring their spirituality, their stuck places and their inner selves through art therapy, equine therapy, natural horsemanship and yoga. Contact Jane to find out more.
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