Words by psychotherapist Jane Faulkner
Christmas is approaching and I want to change the way that my children perceive Christmas. I don’t want it to be a gift-receiving extravaganza that is all forgotten about 3 days later. So I am pondering what to do!
There are so many expectations around Christmas, presents, and feasts, catching up with people. Currently I’m overwhelmed just at the thought of it all!!
My dilemma is that my kids already have all that they need- yet they could still create a huge list of wants, but they don’t need for anything. So I’m questioning how I make this Christmas special without spoiling them or wrecking havoc on the environment.
I want to raise my kids to look further than themselves and their wants, I want them to think of the impact their actions have on the world around them, the environment and other people’s lives. I want them to look beyond pretty packaging and question if they really need that pretty thing and if it is worth the price – financially, environmentally and health wise.
I’m not a strict parent and I don’t ram environmentalism or ethically sourced goods down their throat, however, I do want them to become aware and to be free of the consumerism driven nature that has engulfed our society. It is liberating to walk into a shop and realize that you don’t need anything and that you can walk out empty handed and still be happy. This is what I want for my kids.
I want them to find value in themselves, their world and in the people around them. I want them to be able to draw on this value whenever they need to, not because the ads on TV or other people tell them.
So many of us look outside ourselves for value and worth, we try to find value and happiness in things and we can lose sense of who we are and what we need, which can leave us feeling empty and lost.
I remember as a kid we had one particularly lean Christmas; we got toothbrushes, hairbrushes and practical things like that. I remember being disappointed, however, it also taught me a lot about what Christmas was all about. I realized it wasn’t the presents that I loved so much; it was the time I got to spend with my extended family. It was the only time of year that I got to see some of my cousins and I loved their company. I loved the feeling of being surrounded by family.
So this year I aim to keep it simple: about family and being around people you love.
Thanks Jane. I love this post and as a practical person, I hate giving for the sake of it. I way prefer to come across a meaningful gift, knowing that the person will love it and being excited to share it with them. My 7 year old just last week was pondering if he will be on the naughty or nice list? He said to me “I think I might be on the in between list like every other year.” I asked him what he meant and he said, well I get some good presents but I never get the ones I ask Santa for. I explained that Santa likes to bring useful presents and there has to be enough to go around for everyone. This year he has asked for an Apple watch so with expensive taste like that, I guess he’ll be on the “in-between list” again!
Jane Faulkner started her career as a Registered Nurse and has worked in hospitals in Australia and overseas. During her career as a nurse, she supported people through the difficult transitions of illness, grief, death, trauma, mental health issues and childbirth.
Jane has a Masters in Gestalt Psychotherapy, a Bachelor of Nursing, a Certificate in Initiatic Art Therapy and is certified in Equine Assisted Psychotherapist. Yoga is an integral part of her life, she is a Certified Iyengar Teacher and continues to study and teach in the Iyengar yoga tradition. She is an accomplished teacher, therapist, and facilitator and has led many women’s groups and Day Retreats, presented seminars and workshops, and worked with many different community groups and individuals.
Jane is the founder of Equine Assisted Therapy Australia, an organisation that provides training, retreats, programs and individual sessions that aim to provide individuals with a new and authentic ways to grow and learn more about themselves. Connect with Jane HERE.